Where it All Began
For my first blog post, I want to rewind 28 years to tell the story of how becoming a doula started long before I would ever actually become a certified birthing coach. At the time, I had no idea the impact that this life event would create. A beautiful part of my story would set up in me a passion for natural childbirth.
To set the stage for that time in my life: I am not married, have never been to a birth and have just been given a fresh start in life. I am a young woman and have recently moved back home from college after a few struggles. I am
living with my sister, Maranatha, who is a couple of years younger than I, who is married and expecting her first baby. She invites me to attend her birth, which she was doing at home, and I am very eager to be there with her and mostly to become an aunt!
Fast forward to the big day: everything starts slowly. The mood is peaceful, lights dim. She makes some hot tea in the kitchen, moves to the living room and sits in her rocking chair for a bit, then wanders to the bedroom. Lies down for a minute, then stands back up and keeps slowly moving. She is roaming around the house aimlessly like a cat. At some point, she decides she wants to move to her bathtub to relax for a while as the contractions begin to increase in intensity. My youngest sister, Amelia, and I are in the bathroom with her making conversation. Maranatha is overcome by a pretty strong contraction and unable to talk. I can tell she is trying to tell us something, so I encourage her to just breathe and to tell us when the contraction was over. Well, she is obviously struggling and starts pointing as she grimaces in pain so we get a little frantic trying to figure out what she needs. I'm thinking, "Oh, this is serious! Maybe the baby is coming?" The contraction finally ends and she blurts out- "Your shorts are on FIRE!" A candle had caught the side of my sister's shorts! So much for good coaching and just "breeeeathe through it, honey.” We all had a good laugh and could breathe again.
Throughout the rest of her labor, I just love and support my sister in whatever way I can. Giving her affirmation and telling her she is doing good, even though I am clueless about the whole thing. I don't remember every detail of this birth, I don't remember little things like how many hours she was in labor or how long she pushed. I do know that I was emotional as I watched my first nephew, Benjamin, be born. There were a lot of tears. I fell in love with the miracle of childbirth, the significance of it all. For me personally, Benjamin being born was a very significant moment in my life. It symbolized my re-birth and propelled me from my personal trials.
After watching my sister, I realized how good birth could actually be. And I knew I wanted it for myself one day. It was a positive experience and I liked that she had free will to walk around as she pleased, eat when she wanted to or get in the bath if she felt like it. Natural birth was important to me long before I became a doula because my sister's birth had such a big impact on my heart. The medical details about birth were not what drew me to it. It was the weight that the entire experience held, it was about what she, the mother, needed as she going through one of the most important events in her life.
Still, to this day, I have a very close, strong relationship with Benjamin. And I would say that is true for each of my children and every other baby I have seen be born. While I may not share everyday life with them, there is an undeniable connection there.
The true reason I am a doula is that I love seeing life come into this world and I love the process of it all. When I can help a mama not just get through her birth, but to experience it fully and then see the miracle she produced, that continues to inspire me and to empower others still to this day. I love my job!